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Can we really choose joy?

This question has been sitting with me quietly, the way unanswered questions often do, lingering in the background of daily routines and surfacing in unexpected moments of stillness.

Recently, I found myself in a season that felt strangely heavy, not because something terrible had happened in my life, but because, in many ways, nothing was happening at all.

There were no urgent problems to solve, no dramatic crises demanding my attention, and no obvious reason to feel burdened, yet loneliness crept in subtly, almost politely, as if it did not want to be noticed.

When Loneliness Has No Obvious Cause

It is a strange experience, this kind of loneliness, because it does not come with a dramatic story attached to it.

It simply exists.

When you are alone for long enough, even peace can begin to feel quiet in an uncomfortable way, and joy feels like something meant for other people, for louder lives, or for seasons that feel more meaningful.

In moments like these, it becomes easy to ask yourself why joy feels so far away, especially when you know, at least in your mind, that God has promised peace, and where there is peace, there is meant to be joy as well.

And so I wrestled with the question honestly.

If God is a God of joy, and if I know Him, then why did I feel empty instead of joyful?

Was it because of my surroundings, my lack of connection, or the slowness of my days, or was it because somewhere along the way I had drifted, even slightly, away from the Lord?

This tension between what I knew to be true and what I felt in my heart became the beginning of a deeper reflection, one that ultimately led me to a realization that gently changed the way I approach my emotions, my faith, and my daily choices.

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What I came to understand is this:

Joy is not always something we stumble upon, and it is not always something we feel spontaneously.

Very often, joy is something we must choose, fight for, and practice, especially in seasons when loneliness tells us it is unavailable.

In this reflection, I want to share that journey with you gently and honestly, not because I have mastered it, but because perhaps you are walking through a similar season.

Together, we will explore three simple but life-giving truths:

• that joy is promised even in still seasons
• that joy often requires intentional action
• and that joy grows when we learn to anchor our emotions in truth rather than feeling

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1.Understanding That Joy Is Promised, Even When Loneliness Is Present

One of the most challenging things about loneliness is that it can quietly distort our understanding of God’s promises.

When our days feel empty or repetitive, it can seem as though joy is reserved for different circumstances, for a different chapter, or for a future version of ourselves that feels more fulfilled.

We begin to assume that joy must come after something changes, after relationships deepen, after prayers are answered in visible ways, or after life starts moving again.

Yet when I paused and reflected, I realized that nowhere does God promise joy only after everything makes sense.

Joy as a Present Reality

He promises peace, and within that peace, joy is meant to exist, not as a reward for endurance, but as a present reality available even now.

The problem, then, was not that joy had disappeared, but that my attention had slowly shifted toward the absence of stimulation rather than the presence of God.

In my quiet time, I went back to my usual place, not with fancy words or dramatic prayers, but simply with honesty.

I told the Lord exactly how I felt, acknowledging the loneliness instead of pretending it was not there.

And then I did something intentional.

“Lord, I know You are a God of peace and joy, and today I choose to claim joy, regardless of what this day holds.”

That prayer did not instantly change my emotions.

This is important to say, because sometimes we mistakenly believe that choosing joy means immediately feeling happy.

Instead, what it did was plant hope within me.

Loneliness Does Not Cancel Joy

It created a small but powerful shift, reminding me that joy is rooted in who God is, not in how exciting or meaningful the day appears to be.

Loneliness does not negate joy, even though it often convinces us that it does.

The presence of loneliness simply means we are human, wired for connection and meaning.

But the presence of God means we are never truly alone, even when it feels that way.

When we understand this, we begin to see that joy is not canceled by solitude, but rather sustained by truth.

“You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

–Psalm 16:11

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2. Choosing Joy Through Intentional Action and Daily Practice

One of the most freeing realizations I had during this season was that joy is not merely an emotion we wait for, but a posture we intentionally practice.

This does not mean we deny sadness or suppress genuine pain, but it does mean we refuse to let our emotions dictate the direction of our hearts.

Throughout the day, I found myself having to fight for joy in very practical ways.

Whenever a negative internal emotion surfaced, whether it was heaviness, self-pity, or quiet discouragement, I made a deliberate decision to respond instead of retreat.

Small Actions That Shift the Heart

I smiled, even when it felt forced, because our bodies are often the gateway to our emotions, not just the result of them.

I reminded myself of blessings, small and large, that God had placed in my life, things that I had previously overlooked simply because they had become familiar.

I praised God.

Sometimes quietly.

Sometimes through worship.

Sometimes simply by naming good things in my mind.

I sang songs of gratitude, even when my heart felt hesitant.

I moved my body, lifting my hands, taking steps, allowing my physical actions to align with my spiritual intentions.

Slowly and gently, something shifted.

Choosing Joy Like Choosing Discipline

I was reminded of how similar this process is to going to the gym.

Very few people wake up feeling excited to exercise, especially when they are tired, unmotivated, or overwhelmed.

The beginning is uncomfortable, and the effort feels heavy.

Yet once you start moving, once you commit to the process, something changes.

What once felt impossible becomes manageable, and what once felt burdensome becomes beneficial.

In the same way, choosing joy is rarely effortless at first.

It requires conviction, not because joy is unnatural, but because discouragement is persistent.

Joy, like spiritual discipline, grows not from impulse but from faithfulness.

Over time, joy begins to feel less forced and more familiar, not because circumstances have changed, but because our perspective has.

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3. Replacing Emotional Reactions With Anchored Truth

One of the most important lessons this season taught me is that emotions, while valid, are not always truthful.

They are rarely reliable as a compass for our spiritual lives.

Feelings are powerful, and when left unchecked, they can quietly shape the narratives we believe about ourselves, our worth, and even God’s presence.

When loneliness whispers that life is empty or meaningless, it often magnifies small aches until they feel overwhelming.

Learning to Anchor the Mind

This is why I began intentionally writing things down.

I declared, in my own words, that I choose joy because joy is part of God’s promise to me.

Seeing that truth written on paper helped anchor my mind when my emotions tried to drift.

Whenever negative thoughts surfaced, I consciously replaced them by recalling moments of grace, provision, and love that God had already shown me.

If I repeatedly fed my mind with discouragement, it would naturally grow stronger.

But if I filled my mind with gratitude and truth, joy would begin to take root again.

Truth That Softens the Ache

This process was not about ignoring pain, but about refusing to let it define the entire story.

By praying, writing, reflecting, and intentionally recalling God’s goodness, I was gently but consistently replacing emotional reactions with anchored truth.

Slowly, the ache that once felt overwhelming began to soften.

Joy reemerged, not as a loud celebration, but as a steady and peaceful presence.

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Conclusion: Choosing Joy, Here and Now

What I have come to understand through this season is that joy is not found by waiting for life to look different.

It is found by choosing to see God within the life we already have.

Loneliness may visit.

Emotions may fluctuate.

Days may feel ordinary or quiet.

Yet joy is still available, still promised, and still meant for today.

A Gentle Invitation

You do not need to wait for tomorrow, for resolution, or for circumstances to improve before you allow yourself joy.

Choose joy gently, even when it feels unnatural.

Claim it in prayer.

Write it down.

Smile intentionally.

Praise God out loud.

Remind your heart of truth until it begins to believe again.

Not because everything is perfect, but because God is present.

And His promises do not expire in seasons of solitude.

“In Your presence there is fullness of joy.” – Psalm 16:11

Today, choose joy.

Not because it is easy, but because it is yours.

Faithfully,

Yani  💛

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