I recently moved into a short-term stay for my sabbatical—a place I found online that already looked peaceful in photos. But when I arrived in person, I was genuinely amazed. It was even more beautiful and relaxing than I expected. And right there in that quiet, cozy space, I felt something strange rise up: a mixture of overwhelming gratitude and a small tug of guilt.
“Lord, this feels like too much,” I whispered.
“Should I even be experiencing this?”
It was a surreal moment—one where peace and provision collided with my deep sense of unworthiness. For me, this felt like a gift far beyond what I’m used to. I was grateful… but also wondering if I was allowed to enjoy something so good.
And yet, this is exactly the heart of grace: we don’t earn it—we simply receive it.
From Uncertainty to Unexpected Provision
I remember the weeks leading up to this move—how I struggled with choosing where to stay, how I prayed for clarity, how unsure everything felt. But now, here I am. And though this place isn’t permanent, I can confidently say: God brought me here.
He even orchestrated the details so beautifully—like how this Airbnb ended up being close to my boyfriend’s home, making me feel safe in case of emergencies, and how I got a great deal with a kind host. It all felt intentional. Not random. Not coincidence. But the kind of details only God can weave together.
Writing, Worship Music, and a little sunshine.
And in that moment of reflection, I was reminded of a passage in Deuteronomy 8:2–4, when God cared for the Israelites in the wilderness:
“Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you… He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna… Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.”
—Deuteronomy 8:2–4 (NIV)
1. God Uses the Wilderness to Refine Our Hearts
“To humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart…” (v.2)
God could have taken the Israelites straight to the Promised Land, but instead He led them through the wilderness. Why? To humble them. To test them. To reveal what was really in their hearts.
In my case, this “wilderness” isn’t about lacking comfort, but about letting go of what I used to rely on—my job, career identity, and financial security. While I willingly chose this sabbatical, I also knew deep down it was a divine invitation into the unknown, into the wilderness with God.
And you know what? Being in the wilderness with Him doesn’t feel wild—it feels safe.
Though it may look like uncertainty from the outside, inside I’ve found a quiet confidence. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know God is with me here. He has already been showing me things in my heart I need to surrender and has met me with grace each time.
2. When We Hunger, God Feeds Us in Ways We Never Expected
“He caused you to hunger and then fed you with manna… to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” (v.3)
God sometimes allows hunger—not to harm us, but to teach us dependence.
He removes comfort, security, and even control so we can see clearly where our trust truly lies. For me, that meant stepping away from work, income, and productivity to embrace a holy rest—a fast from the life I used to cling to.
And in exchange, God fed me with something far better: His Word, His presence, and His peace.
In the quiet, I found space to:
- Listen to worship all day
- Read the Bible without rushing
- Sing and journal freely
- Rest without guilt
This sabbatical has been like spiritual manna. It’s teaching me to live not by hustle, but by every word from the mouth of the Lord.
3. If God Leads You, He Will Sustain You
“Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.” (v.4)
This verse strikes me deeply.
God didn’t just bring His people to the wilderness—He sustained them there. And I’ve seen this truth unfold in my life, too. From the moment I obeyed and took this step of faith, God provided abundantly:
- The perfect resignation date aligned with my mom’s arrival in the Philippines
- Condo extensions falling into place
- A surprise financial gift from my sister’s first paycheck
- The timing of an Unplug retreat perfectly aligning with my sabbatical
- A beautiful Airbnb stay at an amazing deal
- And even the unexpected return of my best friend from the U.S.
It’s as if God didn’t just provide what I needed—He gave me more.
More than I expected.
More than I asked for.
More than I dared to think I deserved.
Final Thoughts: His Presence Is the Greatest Provision
If you’re in a season of wilderness or transition, I want to encourage you: God is not absent. He is active. And He’s not just leading you through it—He’s staying with you in it.
The wilderness may not feel comfortable. You may be tempted to grumble or look back at your “Egypt”—the places you once found comfort. But don’t miss what God is doing now. Sometimes it’s in the stillness, the detours, or the discomfort that we hear His voice most clearly.
Reflection Questions
- What “wilderness” season are you currently navigating?
- How has God provided for you—even in small, unexpected ways?
- What comfort, control, or identity might He be asking you to surrender?
- Can you identify a “manna moment” where God met your hunger with His Word or presence?
Bible Verses for Meditation
- Deuteronomy 8:2–4 – God’s faithful provision in the wilderness
- Psalm 23:1 – “The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.”
- Matthew 6:33 – “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness…”
- Lamentations 3:22–23 – “His mercies are new every morning.”
If this blog encouraged you…
You can follow my sabbatical journey by subscribing to Faithfully Yani, where I share gentle reflections, personal stories, and spiritual encouragement for those seeking God in the quiet seasons of life.
And if you’re looking for a peaceful stay like mine, feel free to message me for the Airbnb link. It’s been such a blessing!
Faithfully,
Yani 💛
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