This past weekend, I had the unexpected privilege of joining a Christian retreat called Unplug Retreat. It was advertised during one of the Young Professional services I attended, and since I was newly on sabbatical, I thought I might as well go.
But honestly, I almost didn’t.
I missed the original registration deadline because I was still in the middle of wrapping up my work responsibilities. But a week after the cutoff, I randomly checked their Facebook page again — and surprisingly, the form was still open.
I took that as a nudge from the Lord.
So I signed up, whispering a quiet prayer:
“Lord, if You want me here, I trust You’ll show me why.”
Entering the Retreat with an Open Heart
When I arrived at the retreat, I didn’t know what to expect. I had no idea what the sessions would be about, what activities we’d do, or who I’d meet. But one thing I was sure of: God would be there, and that was enough for me.
I prayed before the retreat began, asking God to give me a learning heart — to remain open to what He would reveal through the people around me, the sessions, and the quiet moments with Him.
And truly, He met me there.
From worship to teachings, from shared testimonies to silent journaling, God gently spoke to me in many ways. But there was one moment that stood out — one that stirred a lot of reflection, prayer, and searching. And it all centered on baptism.
The Quiet Question: Should I Be Baptized Again?
One of the final sessions in the retreat was on baptism — its meaning, importance, and role in the life of a believer. Our facilitator encouraged us to consider being baptized as a public declaration of faith, and even gave us a small paper to sign up if we were interested.
My immediate answer was, “I’ve already been baptized.”
But my facilitator gently asked me to still pray about it and decide by that evening. I didn’t know how to fully explain where I stand, so I simply said, “Okay, I’ll pray about it.”
And I did. That evening, during the group activities and even in the quiet spaces afterward, I found myself asking:
“Lord, what should I do?”
I didn’t want to assume I already knew everything. I didn’t want pride or past experiences to close off what God might be doing now. I told Him:
“Lord, if I’ve misunderstood baptism before, please convict me. All I want is to obey You. Speak clearly, and I will follow.”
Seeking Answers in Scripture
When we returned to our rooms around 10 PM, I stayed up longer than usual. While my roommates were preparing for bed, I found a quiet corner with my tablet for light, grabbed my Bible and journal, and began to read and reflect.
I searched the Scriptures and read:
- The baptism of Jesus (Matthew 3:13–17)
- Peter’s call in Acts 2:38
- The baptism of the Ethiopian eunuch (Acts 8:36–39)
- Paul’s words in Romans 6 about dying and rising with Christ
- And the promise of the Holy Spirit in Acts 1:5
I prayed, journaled my thoughts, and honestly poured out my heart before the Lord. I finally went to sleep around midnight, feeling at peace—wrapped in the quiet assurance that God had heard my heart and was holding me close.
A Gentle Clarification: What Is Baptism?
That night and the morning after, I sensed God lovingly guiding me—not to rush a decision, but to slow down and deepen my grasp of what baptism truly is.
The Scriptures lingered in my heart like a quiet echo. As I sat with them once more, their truth unfolded gently, revealing the depth and significance of baptism.
Water baptism is a symbol of our salvation, not the source of it. It is an outward expression of an inward transformation — a public declaration that we’ve died to our old selves and have been raised to new life in Christ.
“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead… we too may live a new life.”
— Romans 6:4 (NIV)
In the New Testament, people were baptized after they believed, as a sign of their repentance and faith in Jesus. It’s an act of obedience and a beautiful testimony — but Scripture is clear that we are saved by grace through faith, not by water alone (Ephesians 2:8–9).
For me, I had already been baptized in water years ago — after I came to know Christ. I knew I had repented and surrendered to Him. While I’ve failed many times since then, I’ve also been renewed by His grace each time I’ve come back to Him.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
— 1 John 1:9 (ESV)
That morning, God reminded me:
“You have already followed Me in this way. I am not asking you to repeat it — I am asking you to trust what I’ve already done.”
“For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.” — Acts 1:5 (NIV)
And that’s exactly what He did.
Though I wasn’t the one entering the water that day, He baptized me with fresh power, peace, and purpose through His Spirit. I was reminded again of who I am in Him, and why I live this life:
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.”
— Galatians 2:20 (NIV)
A Different Kind of Mission
When the baptism event began, I lined up with my group. Since I was the only one not being baptized, I volunteered to carry their bags, hold their phones, and cheer them on.
And in that quiet moment, God whispered to my heart:
“This is your mission.”
I couldn’t help but cry at what God revealed to me.
Right then, it became clear: While I wasn’t there to be baptized again, God had planned and designed that moment for me to be a witness — to support and encourage my new friends in their step of obedience.
That moment filled me with so much peace and joy. I found myself smiling and tearing up as I saw each person go into the water. It was beautiful. I felt honored to be there — to witness the work of God in others and to know I had a small role to play in it, even if it was from the side.
I was amazed at how God planned everything and how He led me to this simple but divine appointment.
Final Reflections: Obedience Looks Different for Each of Us
This retreat reminded me that obedience isn’t always loud or visible. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s simply being present. Sometimes it’s wrestling with God in prayer. And sometimes, it’s holding someone else’s hand while they say yes to Him.
I’m so grateful I said yes to this retreat. I gained new friends, deeper convictions, and a greater sense of how God weaves every detail with purpose.
“Each of you should be fully convinced in your own mind… Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves.”
— Romans 14:5, 22 (NIV)
Encouragement for You
Maybe you’ve also asked, “Should I be baptized again?” Or maybe you’re in a season of uncertainty, unsure of what obedience looks like. If that’s you, I want to gently encourage you:
- Seek God’s voice in prayer and Scripture.
- Don’t rush your decision — listen for His peace.
- Obey what He leads you to, even if it looks different from others.
He will speak. And when He does, it will come with peace and clarity.
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace…”
— 1 Corinthians 14:33 (ESV)
Reflection Questions
- Have you ever wrestled with a spiritual decision that seemed simple on the outside but stirred something deep within?
- What has the Holy Spirit been speaking to you lately — especially in quiet or unexpected ways?
- How can you support someone else’s walk of faith, even if you’re in a different season?
If this story spoke to you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to leave a comment, share it with a friend, or subscribe to the blog for more reflections like this one.
Faithfully,
Yani 💛
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